CT results

Chris talked with his doctor this morning. They found 2 nodules in his lungs but aren't too concerned now. He goes back in 3 months for another CT scan and they are expecting for them to either disappeared or grow bigger. If bigger - biopsy, if disappeared - yea!
I wish it were definative though - either "it's nothing" or "we need a biopsy". So we wait instead!
Love you girls!

Season's greetings!

We just made it home from a weekend with the fam in Colorado. I can say it was a productive weekend as far as the way Jen described productive -- plenty of eating and shopping. We were only able to spend an afternoon with the Linds because of different holiday plans, but we did do a lot of hanging out with the other side of the family. Our nephew Dylan stayed at Adam's mom's house with us, and kept us all entertained for hours on end. He's such a little chatterbox and is finally starting to say everyone's names. Unfortunately, my name sounds more like "Mimi" than "Kimmy" which I hope does not stick -- I do not want to be a Mimi -- at least not until I'm around age 60 or so. He's quite good with all the dogs' names though. It's pretty funny. He won't even try to say Uncle Adam, but the three dogs' names, he has down pat. I'm really excited to see him on Christmas morning -- he's just now old enough to be really excited about presents, especially presents that have to do with dinosaurs, his new favorite thing in the whole world.
Ok, I'll stop blabbering about Dylan. :p He's just my baby fix right now, so I have to eat it up!
We also avoided the Black Friday crowds as much as possible, but those 60% off sales were calling our names by Saturday. So we hit Kohl's (which we don't have in Seattle -- so sad!) and I got a couple gifts. But I'll still have some shopping to finish up in the next few weeks.
Juls, we'll keep praying for your family. I'm glad you were able to make it home -- I'm sure your mom feels better just having you around.
Ok, it's Monday night and I'm exhausted. Back to work tomorrow...
Love you girls!

CT Scans, Ultrasounds, and the Chick Magnet

I commonly feel as though I have nothing to write about, and then it seems that lots of little stuff happens. Then I feel like I have so much to tell you all! So here’s the latest…
Chris had another chest X-ray this morning. The Pneumonia has cleared out. Chris is still coughing and they say this could continue for another month yet even. I’m really glad we postponed the honeymoon. BUT, his doctor saw a nodule on one of the lungs and is bringing Chris in for a CT scan tomorrow afternoon. A little scary but no worries as of yet…
Last week I went in for my annual yucky appointment. The doctor felt what she thought could be a cyst on my left ovary. So I had to wait an excruciating hour and a half to see the ultrasound lady. That was not a fun time. But everything turned out just fine. I guess she was feeling part of my intestine which had moved around the ovary.
I hope the Thanksgiving season was productive for all of you – and by productive, I mean fattening and full of shopping :) We were able to get started on our Christmas shopping. I think we’re about half way done. We did most of the shopping later in the day on Friday and Saturday to avoid the crazy ladies getting all their gifts before 7AM. We managed to have 3 thanksgiving dinners over the weekend. I refused to step on the scale today and am anxious for my new tennis shoes to arrive and start the workout program once again.
We have decided to sell the “chick magnet” minivan. We are trying to make it as a one vehicle family. Yes, it’s difficult and frustrating at times. It also provides for many cases of compromise. We wanted to take this step in order to pay off the car loan and get out of some debt. As it looks right now, there is no room for little Jen and Chris juniors in the budget and we want to be able to have some freedom with our money and alleviate some budget pressure.
And I think that about does it for me! Can’t wait for Angie’s wedding to see you all!

Happy Holidays!

Hey Girls!!!! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I love the holiday season. It's my absolute favorite time of year and Thanksgiving ushers in the seasonal fun. =) Sorry I haven't written in a while. We've been very busy. Josh is finally done with his wretched rotation in Poteau, OK. So i have him to myself again. Seth is doing fine. he's so big and he's started teething, so he's a bit fussy lately with the pain. We are in Ohio now for josh to start his rotation for the month of December here in Ohio. We had to rush in about a week early because Josh's grandma died on Tuesday night. So, we weren't planning to be home for Thanksgiving, but we ended up being here because we had to get home for the funeral. My grandma is not doing well and we're all a bit edgey about that situation. She is awfully weak and I just don't know how much time we have left with her. I just really hope she makes itthrough Christmas. Josh's other grandmother had a heart attack last week. So, we're also kind of waiting to see how she does. My sister-in-law, Sarah went into early labor a couple weeks ago and has been on bed rest since then so it's good that we're home to help her out with my toddler nephew. =) My mom has her hands pretty full with grandma. So, I just really feel like it was God's plan for us to be in Ohio this month. Anyways, I finished my Christmas shopping for Seth today and that was fun. I'm enjoying being home for the Holiday Season. And I cannot wait to see you girls in a few weeks for Angie's wedding! (Angie, I just RSVPed for me and Josh today... we're coming). Love you all!

Gobble... Gobble...

Hello my beautiful friends -
It's turkey day here, which means lots of time of relaxing and eating. My dad is away on a trip and all of my siblings are with the in-laws today, so its just me, Aaron, my mom, and Joe. It's kinda fun cause its quiet and my mom is teaching me how to make a turkey today, which is easier than expected. My turkey is coming along quite nicely.
I feel bad for not writing for so long... Its been kinda crazy, as I'm sure you all understand. It's under 6 weeks till the big day and I still have lots of detail stuff to do. Aaron and I have been working on music for the ceremony and reception for the past week and a half. I decided to go non-traditional with the ceremony songs, which of course makes it harder for me. I have yet to find the perfect song for me to walk the isle to... If you have any ideas, please let me know. I plan on getting a lot of stuff done this weekend cause I have a holiday today and tomorrow. I'm going to try and get the programs started and I have to order the favors ASAP. Anyway... I don't want to bore you with the long list of things I need to get done this weekend...
Let's see, wedding has been all-consuming lately, so I haven't a whole lot more to talk about. My shower is next weekend, which means I get to see Liz and Steph... I'm so excited about that. I cannot wait for you girls to come! I miss my girls tremendously and can't wait for the wedding so I can see most of you again. Speaking of... Kim, I'm so excited that you and Adam are coming in for the big day. We are going to have so much fun. Besides my 2 bridesmaids who I know are coming, I haven't heard from the rest of you... I hope that you all can come and I'm anxious to hear if you are for sure. FYI, rumor is that Bryce is coming in for the wedding, which was very unexpected but very exciting. I also invited Hanna, but unfortunately she is in California - in school again - and doesn't have the funds to make it in.
So yea... I tried to talk about something other than the wedding, and obviously it did not work out so well. I wish I had some very exciting news to tell all of you... But like I said, wedding is all-consuming.
Well... I guess I'll go. I hope all is well for everyone. I miss you girls!
Have Wonderful Thanksgiving!

Turkey Day

Just wanted to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving! Hope you all have a great holiday.
Love you girls!






Here's a random picture from our trip to Canada...
(We're pointing at starfish in a tidepool.)
:)

Dry spell

It's definitely been a blogging dry spell lately, girls. I've been meaning to sit down and write something for a week now, but haven't had the time nor the content -- my life is very unexciting at the moment.
We are going away for the weekend with Neal and Naomi. They reserved a cabin by the ocean up on an island by Vancouver. I have a three-day weekend because of Veteran's Day, so I'm looking forward for a few days of doing nothing. Of course, I'm sure they'll have a few twenty-five mile hikes planned for us. But in between those, maybe I'll get some down time.
I was kind of stressed about crossing the border again, since last time the border guard gave us so much flak for not having our passports...you know, since we're obviously terrorists. Of course, I'd put them away somewhere safe and secure and couldn't remember where that was. But I did find them the other night -- in a totally practical place, by the way -- so we should make the Canadians happy this trip.
Starbucks had all their Christmas decorations up this morning. It was so festive -- I really want to go shopping now.
We're supposed to be making our presents for Adam's family this year. Yeah, we have about...oh, twenty presents to make from scratch and we haven't even bought the materials yet. They might all be getting popsicle-stick picture frames.
Steph, I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out with Jay. But it sounds like it might be a good thing for both of you. Anyway, you'll have to catch me up with the whole story soon.
Jen, congrats on being a real aunt! That's very exciting. And I hope Chris feels better soon.
It is the baby season right now, isn't it? Really makes me want one... :p
Julie, we need to talk and plan out our wedding trip over to PA . I'll give you a call early next week so we can chat.
Love you all!

Breaking news!

Yeah, really it's no big deal - sorry to get your hopes up! :)
You remember that I mentioned that I had met and was seeing a guy? Well, scratch that. He wanted a little more that I was willing to give, so we are no longer considering anything romantic. We'll still talk, I'm sure. Ok that's it...just wanted to make sure you were all updated! :) I love you girls!

Auntie

I think Steph and I were on the same mind track... I was opening up the blog thinking "if someone doesn't write, I'm going to have to break the silence!".
Life's been really good lately! I really enjoyed seeing Stephanie this weekend. It was refreshing to have girl time, and to get out the Quad Cities even if just for one night.
The best news of this week is that my brother (my real brother,Brian, who walked me down the aisle) called last night to say he and his wife (Carol) are expecting! I screamed and jumped up and down of course. This is entirely different as this will be my first time being a real (flesh and blood) Aunt! I've been praying for a red-head girl but i don't think Brian's too thrilled about that idea ;) Anyway, he's thrilled and overwhelmed and I'm just plain HAPPY as can be.
Chris is recovering from Pneumonia slowly but surely. He's off the antibiotic now so we just wait and see if it worked. He has a chest x-ray scheduled for the 28th of November to check again. Please continue to keep him in your prayers!
Oh, and if i haven't posted it already, we've changed our honeymoon plans - again. We're going to Jamaica still, but in January instead. Doctor's orders i guess. So we'll be leaving on January 7th, just a few days after I get back from Angie's wedding! I looking forward to going at that time as the holidays will be done and over with and it will be frightfully cold here.
Lastly, i got new allergy testing done today and it seems that today (as compared to 10 years ago) I am less allergic to cats and dogs! So maybe someday... if i can convince Chris...
hope everyone is happy and healthy!
miss you all!

Break the silence...

Ok, ok. I can't stand checking this thing a million times a day and there's nothing new, so I am going to ramble on about my life for a while - just because I know there are others like me who check this all the time just for something to read. :)
Things here have been pretty good lately. I was working at Pottery Barn, but due to some scheduling conflicts, I am not there anymore...yes, that was short-lived, but it just wasn't working out. They thought I was going to be here for the holidays, and when they actually looked at the availability sheet I filled out when I was hired, they realized I wasn't - plus some due to Ang's shower and wedding. And I just didn't want to work there anymore. :)
So, I am down to one job again, but that's ok. It leaves time for other things. For example, Jen came to visit for a day this past weekend. We got some good quality time together and some ideas for the Sapphire's reunion that is here next year. Is everyone still ok with the July 4th weekend? That's what we were planning. There is a LOT to do around here that time of the year.
Also, I met a girl when I did the Breast Cancer Walk last month (she was doing it alone as well) so we hung out a little this weekend - went to lunch at a diner that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have been spotted at, then to the Art Institute for a wonderful display of French Photography. Very educational.
And, lastly, I have met a guy. We've been talking and hanging out for about 3 weeks now. Just seeing where things will go. We don't live very close to each other (he lives in Hyde Park/south Chicago and I live west), so we don't see each other often, but we talk on the phone a lot and meet up when we can pencil it in. His name is Jay (Jason) and he's lived in Chicago his whole life...works in an office near me right now, but is training to be a firefighter. Very intellectual (degree in fictional writing from Columbia College) - great conversationalist. Hilarious. So yeah. I'm not keen on the idea of jumping into something to quickly with this guy, but I know he's sort of looking for something a little more serious, so I don't know how I feel about that. But it is nice to know that he's interested...I'll keep you posted.
Let's see. I don't think there's too much more going on. I am getting ready for all the holiday travel. I am running down to the south 'burbs this weekend to see my aunt and my cousins, then it's just two more weeks until Thankgiving! Is that going incredibly fast for anyone else?
Ok, that's me...who's next??

Halloween

Hey girls! I think I already sent these pics to you, but I thought I'd post them just to make sure you got to see them. This was Seth on Halloween night. He helped greet trick-or-treaters at the door as the Cat in the Hat. Hope you all are doing well. Love ya!

Take a guess!

Hey girls,

I was thinking about the Ladybug Tree and I was trying to decide if I had anything to share. I do agree that Kim should write a book. I see a pretty amazing picture book that could be illustrated by kids. Let me know if that is something you would want to do!! I know a place to get it published!

Anyhoo, I was thinking about my childhood and I do have to say Halloween used to be one of my favorite days of the school year. The funny part of all of this is I can honestly say I've never been trick or treating in my life. I think I've only dressed about 4 or 5 times and that was all before the age of 7. But I used to LOVE Halloween. My parents did not like the parties that happened at school, so they started pulling us out and having a family day. It was so fun!! We would go to the zoo or to the museum and hang out all day as a family. Then after dinner we would turn out all the lights and head to the basement. There we would watch old musicals. I'm trying to talk Nick into watching Carousel or Seven Brides for Seven Brothers or Singin in the Rain. You know, classics! ;) I do think this is something I may instill with my own kids someday. Just taking a day off of school to do something as a family. I remember loving those times!!

I hope you all have a happy and safe Halloween. Julie...I would LOVE to see a picture of Seth in whatever cute costume you came up with!! I'm off to do a pumpkin activity with my kids. How many seeds do you think is in one large pumpkin?

Love you all lots!

I love Fall

Hey girls! It finally feels like Fall in Tulsa! We have finally started dropping tempertures below 80 degrees. Although, I was taking pictures of Seth in the pumpkin patch last week and it was 90 degrees. So, I looked crazy... because I was determined to have Seth's Fall pics look authentic, I took him to the patch in a onesy and then put a sweatshirt, corduroys and a hat on him for pictures. The poor baby was so grumpy because it was hot that he wouldn't smile. So, the pics didn't turn out that great. But it's cold out now. We have several costume parties to go to this weekend for Halloween and we have no idea what to dress up as. Do you guys have any suggestions? The only thing I found that I though was kind of cute, was the Spartan cheerleaders from SNL. But the costumes are sold out now. So, I don't know what to do. Anyways, I got a new job this week that looks like it will work out pretty nicely. I'm going to be doing freelance writing for a website. (Just like my writing hero, Kimmy!). It pays OK and I think it will work out to let me stop watching Jacob during the week. I really don't enjoy babysitting. I love Seth, but I'm not one of those people that can just do the kid thing all the time and love it. I'm actually thinking of putting Seth in a Mother's Day Out program 2 days a week to give me more time to write and focus on developing my publications design business. I would come out better financially than what I'm doing now and it would give me a little breather during the week to get stuff done and not have to be burned out taking care of Seth. I'm very thankful that I get to stay at home, but being a stay-at-home mom is not the easiest thing to do. You just mentally and emotionally get fried. Although if you ask a mom who works and wants to stay at home, she would tell you that I have the greatest situation in the world and have nothing to complain about. Which is true... but I'm still burned out on kids. Well, enough of that. I need to go get Seth. He's crying. Love you girls!

change of plans

This is a picture of the lobby at Secrets Excellence Resort, Riviera Maya - the very location I am scheduled to be at in 2.5 weeks time for my honeymoon, sipping fruity beverages, sleeping a lot, and laying on the beach day after day after day (by day, by day :)) We're looking to reschedule, preferably somewhere that wasn't torn to shreads by Wilma...
That's what I'm busy with - trying to get travel plans all changed. Thank goodness for travelers insurance!
Thinking of you all!

Um...

So I thought I'd help break the blogging dry spell and write a bit...even though I don't have anything really new or exciting to tell.
I was home sick yesterday with some kind of yucky virus. But I'm feeling some better today and decided to drag myself into work. It's been so dreary and rainy that staying in bed seems so appealing. But I have to be productive at some point, I suppose.
A group of us went to a pumpkin patch on Sunday in Fall City (isn't that appropriate?) then carved them afterwards and drank cider. It was very festive and really gave me a hankerin' for pumpkin pie.
Sometimes I get in this mood where I really want to go do something -- something like save the world, join the Peace Corps, adopt an orphan, or contribute tons of money to AIDS research or something. It's frustrating because I'm not really involved with a church yet or any organization where I can put this energy to use. So I mainly sit around and plan out things, or write about them. We do want to get involved, and we know we need to, but where do you find the time? I suppose that once my contract is up here in Everett, and my commute doesn't steal two hours from my day, I will have more time to devote to things like saving the world. But I also suppose that there will always be things that will steal away my free time, and that if I don't learn to make things like that a priority now, they will only get lost by the wayside on my way to the next great opportunity. I guess I don't really expect any answers to this post, but I just thought I'd send my thoughts out into the void...(stealing a line from a favorite chick flick).
Well, enough rambling for one morning. Love you girls and miss you all!
Go White Sox! :)

my latest mishap

I locked my husband out of the house yesterday!!! Before I left in the morning I put a spare key in his vehicle as we had planned so that when he arrived home at 3:30 from the conference, he could get in the house. Well, I got everything just perfect except for the part about leaving the minivan unlocked so he could GET the key. So there he stood outside the van, looking in at the house key. oops! I have never felt so stupid!!!
There was another spider in my bathroom this morning. Just as I was noticing him, he jumped right down at me! You know, how they can string down so quickly from just one little strand of web. Yeah, I screamed. stupid spiders!!
choir starts this weekend - so excited!
back to work!
Kimmie! You need to write a book about the ladybug tree!!! I'd buy one (or 100) for sure!

Just a friendly "Hello"

Good day, girls...
I love checking the blog and seeing that someone has posted - it is seriously what gets me through my day sometimes. I know that's sad, but this little piece of cyberspace is what keeps me connected to the lives of those I love. Before, I even go any further, let me just tell you that I am PMSing in a major way. I don't understand me because every month, the stupid thing hits me differently. This month, I have had a headache, been sick to my stomach, been VERY emotional and so tired I could sleep for a week. But enough of that, I know we all endure it. Don't even get me started on how I resent the other half of our species for not having a CLUE as to what this is like.
Other than that, things are good on my end. Just taking things a day at a time and working my little life away. I have to work both days this weekend at PB so that leaves me with no days off until Jennifer comes to visit next weekend (YAY!!!). So needless to say, that will be a welcome relief. Julie, my heart goes out to you and all you are dealing with right now. Please don't hesitate to call if you need anything...that i can supply from all the way up here...:)
Kimmie - yes, we do need to connect. I will hopefully get a hold of you sometime soon. I should be home tonight, I will go to the gym at about 8, probably, but other than that i should be available. Same with tomorrow. And Friday. And...well you get the point.
Ok, well, I better get back to my real job...yes, I do have a job even though, i email and blog-check so often it wouldn't appear that way. But before I go, i just want to add to Kimmie's idea of sharing...I am in favor of it. (And, I loved the story of the Ladybug Tree...you should write a children's book about that...seriously.) But in light of the fact that I agree with her on this I can't think of anything to share with you guys. The only thing I can think of is that sometimes I feel like people assume that I am pining away here in Chicago, sulking because I am alone and single - without a man in my life. And although there are brief, oh so brief, moments where I may feel this way, I really don't for the most part. I have amazed myself by actually feeling great about being single right now. And I can honestly say that I do NOT want to be in a relationship right now...well, let me rephrase that. I don't want to be in a "getting to know you uncomfortable dating" relationship. So, unless I find someone who has an abnormally attractive personality and completely captures my attention, this girl will be happily single for now. :) There, I said my piece. Have a great day.

Ladybug tree

I'm getting ready to go to a meeting in a few minutes, but wanted to post a quick hello this morning first.
I would be happy to send some of our very fall-like weather to Tulsa for you, Julie. It's just plain yucky here right now. But it is the northwest -- not like I'm surprised by the dreariness or anything. So sorry about your grandma, too, Juls -- we'll definitely keep praying for you all. I wish I could come to Ohio to visit with you...but I'm sure you'll just want some good quality time with your family. We'll just have to catch up at Christmas :)
So Jennifer and I were saying the other day that while the blog does allow all of us to keep up with each other in a new and exciting way, it doesn't really allow for many deep, personal thoughts and reflections. I know that posting our innermost desires out in the vast black hole of cyberspace is a little scary...but, on the other hand, it's not like we haven't all totally embarrassed ourselves in front of each other at some point. That's what friendship is all about -- looking ridiculous and having the other person still love you regardless. (example: "I like boys!") :p
That being said, I'm going to risk sounding cheesy and post something about myself that most of you may not know. It's nothing brilliant or extreme, but just a little tidbit from my past to liven up the blog a bit. If anyone else wants to share something a little weird or unorthodox, please feel free. Of course, the normal day-to-day stuff is always interesting -- especially with our being so far away from each other...but I really have nothing new at all to say...so here we go.
Until I was about 5, my parents and I lived in this big, old, drafty farmhouse, complete with a barn and surrounded by corn fields. We had a big collie/german shepherd mix that was like my nanny dog. She followed me everywhere. We had quite a few trees surrounding our house, and one in particular was really special to me because, for some reason, it attracted millions of ladybugs. Any time of the year, whenever you'd go outside, the first thing that would catch your eye was this huge old tree, its bark red and crawling with ladybugs. I used to scoop them up in my hands and let them crawl over my fingers, tickling me with their little legs. The tree has since been cut down, but I think I'll always remember it as my "ladybug tree."
Love you girls!

I'm bored

Hey guys! I miss you all. I'm very bored. I'm busy all the time, but everything I do is boring. I wish I lived closer to you guys so that I could call you up and go somewhere every once in a while. Plus, none of our friends here drink coffee. Can you believe it?! How can life be good without a reasonably steady flow of coffee? So nobody here ever wants to go to a coffee shop and hang out or anything. Josh and I were just saying the other day how we missed all of us from ORU going to Starbucks and sitting for hours over coffee talking and laughing. Anyways.... I'm glad to hear everyones updates. Kimmy, I'm sorry you had kind of a rough time in Ohio. Divorce is hard no matter how old you are. I know that Josh had a rough time when his parents got divorced last year. It's still like you're grieving the loss of something, sort of like a death. Please let me know if you need anything. I'm going to call you tonight by the way. Sorry I missed your call on Sunday. I was in Bible study. And then we've been crazy busy this week because our washer and dryer died. So, we've been frantically trying to find new ones. My laundry is piled up halfway to the ceiling. But we bought a new set at Lowes yesterday and it is being installed this very minute, so that situation has been resolved. We're going to go to the pumpkin patch today with the boys because we thought that would be fun. Although it is like 90 degrees so it does not feel much like pumpkin patch weather. I'm going to be going back to Ohio in November. (Nov. 7-12, Kimmy... just in case you need another trip. hehehe...). My grandma is not doing well. We're not really expecting her to make it to Christmas. Dad said he's not really even sure she's going to get through Thanksgiving. So, I'm making a trip back again to spend some more time with her. I want to get as much quality time as I can before she's not able to even enjoy us visiting. She's in an awful lot of pain. So I guess Kim and I both have some yucky reasons to be visiting Ohio these days. It's been hard for my family these past few months. I've never really seen my mom be so down. Anyways, your prayers are still much appreciated in that situation. That's about all that's happening here. I love reading all of your posts. Keep em coming. Love you girls!

Juls

the lady of the house

hey gals, hope you all had good weekends! Mine was very productive, especially if you measure productivity in the amount of money I saved (and spent!) shopping! I hit Gordmans and Kohls pretty hard with some hits to Target, WalMart, and Old Navy along the way too... it was time to stock up for winter!
Chris is in Chicago for the next several days at "Straight Up" which is a leadership conference for all the 'Harvest Bible Chapel's'. He's there with all the pastors, church staff, elders, and a couple of small group leaders. Pray that he gets built up and inspired! Thus, I am the lady of the house until wednesday evening. And this means... the house is CLEAN! well ok, it's getting there anyway. But the big king size bed isn't so much fun without my human furnace just a couple inches away. I had to add another blanket last night.
Saturday afternoon we also cleaned out the garage. That was absolutely lovely (just what this obsessive gal needed - to clean something!). So now we can park both vehicles in the garage, what a concept. Here's my funny story about the garage... Until now, Chris has been the only one to use the garage and park there on occasion. I had always seen him push the button on the inside to close the door and then walk outside with no problem. Well! Sunday evening after dropping Chris off, I drove into the garage for the first time and attempted to close the door as I had seen him do so many times. NOTE: I grew up with a manual garage door. So, in all my excitement of finally getting to park in the garage last night... when I'd push the button and try to walk outside, the garage door would stop and go back up. I didn't learn about the laser-activated safety feature until about 10 minutes ago when Chris (laughing histarically) explained to me how this works! I must have tried 15 times to exit that garage yesterday! ugh!
Anyway, this week I'll be making myself busy and I can't wait for him to be home again. I hope nothing breaks in the house while he's gone, I won't know what to do!
Praying for all of you!